Im just randomly saying hey. So if anyone sees this.. Post back!!! xDD
Today was ok but cloaked with an aching in all my joints which was kind of distracting. Pissed about all morning but made up for it in the afternoon as the helpline was pretty busy.
Had mince'n'tatties from the counting house (6/10) and saw Let the right ones in at the flicks (7/10). The imagery was amazing at some parts, the bleakness of the snowy swedish countryside.
Came home and watched the apprentice and now in bed. Pretty tired so gonna go soon.
Plan for tomorrow (Thu):
Usual exercise and diet today.� Heading out for a couple of days for the prayer advance but will be able to do my thursday and saturday workouts.� Diet will be non-standard for a couple days.
Looking forward to a couple days away.� Am hoping the extra rest will help my body recoup a bit and give the muscles time to grow.
"when you soar like an eagle you attract a hunter" - alan sugar, apprentice
"I want something that feeds my soul every day..." - Johanna Cox, stylista winner
"You're the measure of my dreams" - Shane McGowan
I�dont know what to do anymore, its like my world is slowing crashing down on me bringing me back to reality. I cant stand it anymore... Its driving me up the wall like a rapped ape! �I�mean thats all they talk about.
"They did this"
"They did that"
OMFG! its so anoying cant they just shut up?!?!?! I�mean... hello? cant I get some room to cool off and breath a little? No, most likely not... because that would be to much to ask, right?.......
Anyways. I�saw him today. He just this one guy that I know. I miss him. I�wish I could go back in time and tell him the truth... but that'll never happen. Thats my goal, before I die, I want to tell him the truth, I want to tell everyone Im sry for all the times I've pissed them off, I�want to go and live my life. Not the one my parents have neatly layed out for me. My friends probably think I�have it easy, well you know what? I�DONT!! But unfortunatley for you I�dont feel like going into detail.
What know one realizes about me is that Im good at hiding things. I can hide the truth, I�can bottle up my emotions and lock them away with out anyone knowing. I hide. Why? Because, through out my life the one lesson I have learned and learned well, is to never show weakness, and when things get tough pull out that mask and keep going like everything's all right. Even when its not.
My world's been set on fire. A fire that burns so hot, its like walking through the Sahara desert with black snowsuite for days without water. I feel like crawling back into that familiar shell, Im safe there.
I�feel numb, I cant feel anything. Everything is �tuned out most of the time, Im competley obliviouse to the world around me. I wish he was here with me. He always made things better, but now he's gone, and theres nothing I can do about it. Its like being all alone, but this is much worse.....
Went to attack for the first time in months last night - what with the jury duty and operation I've let my classes�fall to the wayside. I'm kind of getting back on track but I'll be having another break when I go to America for 3 weeks. Don't know how I'll cope over there - what with all the driving there won't be much opportunity to get much exercise, and there'll be loads of food I want to eat!
Anyways, this morning I woke up and could hardly move! Which is good because it means that I've worked hard at it, but I can hardly lift my arms. Went a walk through Kelvingrove Park with Victoria this morning instead of the gym - bad me! Tomorrow I want to try the new combat routine.
Today I'm in the office all day - admin and reports this morning, and helpline this afternoon. I'm thinking it'll be busy today because schools went back this week and people will be panicking to get kids referred�before the end of term.
Yesterday afternoon I was at a meeting where we had a talk on Cleft Lip and Palate. It was the first meeting/talk I've been to in a long time where my mind didn't wander and I took it all in. It was so interesting! It's a really tough client group to work with (I had a kid down in London with cleft palate, and therapy was not very successful) but I really feel that this is something I might want to specialise in in the future!
So that kind of lifted my low mood a bit that I've been in for the past wee while. That and getting a good workout at attack, which always helps! Hopefully it'll continue to lift...
Plan for today:
Hello..long time no talk since i been on here. Last time i posted it was about my parents getting a divorce well that is still continuing but my parents are talking on good term, my dad still does not live here wit me and its rought i am a complete daddy's girl and not seeing him everyday hurts. but other then that thing are looking okay.
I am working out mostly everyday trying to eat right n loss weight for the navy. I know its the right thing for me. I want it really bad, but i also feel as if my recruiters dont�i am not getting the support from them which i should be. I am althought getting it from my family. I do question my self often about it thought i dont kno why deep down i want it with all my heart, but theres just one thing or should i say person that could stop me from joining.
Now on to that one person. I met him back in febuary. Amazing guy, sweet, kind, beautiful smile, big heart. We met at a club and he then came over then next day and enjoyed of self extremly (lol)..we talked and just layed on my bed holdin eachother.. we see eachother when we go out he say's he likes me and all the sweet talk. he's a good guy smart has a decent job as a councler and he's older in late twenty's. but my freinds say he's just like the rest a playa, i really dont wanna believe it, but last night i got upset i dont kno why we are not together.. he came there to see ME or else he wouldnt have.some girl he jus met was all over him and he did nothin all he said was hanging out with friends. ugh i jus dont kno what to do i like him alot..i could having the worst day and seeing him puts a smile on my face n makes me happy n my day better...i shouldnt b upset or wasting tears on him when we're not even together..i would like one day for us to be but i dont know when that day is going to come............
till next time..every1 have blessed day
�
Same as per usual.� Fortunately the rain stopped and I was able to bike today.� The cardio routine is still tough but am beginning to notice some increasing strength and firmness through my check and lats.
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Dead-Girls-Dont-Lie 33, Female, Georgia, USA - 11 entries
